Sunday, March 21, 2021
For all the Jim Morrison fans out there.
Friday, January 1, 2021
My Dear Kamala Aunty
MY DEAR KAMALA AUNTY
When Kamala Harris became Vice President elect of USA, Indians all over the universe (Yes there is one selling tea on the Moon and looking to open a StarMusk chain on Mars) got very excited. Everyone dug deep and excavated their relationships, scrambling fervently to find a connection. How could we own a piece of history for ourselves.
In fact, it was just within minutes of the nomination that furtive searches started taking place up and down family trees, as our elders are known to do whenever something significant happens to someone we heard about. A discovered uncle here, a forgotten aunt there, a long lost cousin and all sorts of other family connects get thrown up for scrutiny, even if they are difficult to prove. For all we know she could be my maternal uncle’s second cousin’s third niece. It’s really quite that simple.
That particular HARRIS family tree grew a few thousand new branches overnight. If one could not find oneself up that tree, one was quite content to be a nearby plant or a weed, settling for a relation-by-association.
Let me tell you how that works. Whatsapp was abuzz with chats on who had a connection to the Harris Gopalan Family from Chennai, India. More specifically, Besant Nagar’s Elliots beach that was home to her grandparents and the annual family holiday destination. A famous man himself, her grandfather P.V. Gopalan was not unknown to the neighbors. Even my mother, who lives 300 meters away and shares the same initials and name but obviously from the opposite gender, was enquired on if Kamala was her grand-daughter. I got messages enquiring if we were related, having the same family name.
Upon getting our disappointing answer, many of the enquirers
resorted to their own relation-by-association, often delivered with an air of
superiority. “I passed by them every morning when she used to take a walk with
her grandfather, I saw him shape her thinking during those walks whenever I
passed by”. Or, “I used to have coffee in the same place where they had coffee after
their long formative morning walks”. And even “I passed by their house every week
and I got a good look inside and i saw him talking to her on the portico”. Not wanting to miss the party, all I could smugly say was “My dog and their
dog sniffed each other’s backsides as we passed by them on their daily walks.” Ok, you wont get that unless you visualize it.
In India, Kamala Aunty is what she would be called, with our penchant for making everyone older into a relative. If she dared to visit now, she would be garlanded at the airport, received by truckloads of new found relatives and friends, chanting “Long live Kamala aunty, may you prosper and bring good name to our country, our city, our street and our village.”
And that actually, is quite a good new year’s wish, for my favorite "relative" of the year, My Dear Kamala Aunty.
Trumped Up Charges
Trumped Up Charges
and other unforgettable tales from the swamp.
The Mickey & Donald show is finally slated to end in its first season, after a dramatic run of 1461 days. It’s one of those reality web series where waiting for a potential Season 2 has been a mixed bag of emotions for people from both sides of the proverbial fence. A one-hit wonder it should turn out to be. Stand-up comics and late night shows have suddenly woken up to the realization that they have not only lost their favorite daily impersonation act but also the will to live. Nevertheless, this development is akin to the burning of libraries in the medieval ages, so much comic material that was to come our way is now going to remain unwritten, and lost to civilization for good. What a pity!
But, let’s go back a few years, when the saga started. In a world filled with sophisticated conmen, all the proverbial glib-talking snake-oil salesmen were put to shame by the world’s most successful conman, who was officially crowned the king of them all when he became the the Conman-der-in-Chief of a nation that had over the years become a role model for the world. Take a guess who put him there. Yes, its Kellyanne Con-way, who, living true to her name, helped him con his way to the top-dog spot. Somewhere along the line, she also coined the new word “alternative facts” into the English dictionary. Not to be outdone by a lesser minion, the Donald responded almost immediately and copyrighted the word “Fake News”. That was the beginning, and the world lived on those two words, day by day, minute by minute, for over four long agonizing years.
Being the POTUS that he was, Making America Grate Again was happening on a daily basis and the country very quickly became the laughing stock around the world. We all remember waking up every morning to the disbelief of a tweet from the twit, or twat, as you would prefer to call him, depending on which country you are from, and wincing unpleasantly at the thought of something smelly that he regurgitated at your breakfast table. What usually went down with great relief after a hearty breakfast was for the last four years being served well before your bowels were activated.
Let’s look at some of the things Mr. Maga did. First things first, he cleaned up the swamp. Ceremoniously. But when you clean up the swamp and fill it with monsters from your own world, you just get another swamp with a new name and address. That’s actually all what Trump did. And he did it bigly. At first, he filled it with beautiful women, which was definitely a pleasant change from the dowdy yet efficient politicians we are used to. For a while everybody was thrown off trail by the glitzy glamour of the Trump World. Even Fox news had become Foxy News. But, throw in a reluctant wife, a drop-dead gorgeous daughter, a slick son-in-law and a rabid talking mini-me, and then flavor it with a doting deputy, a dangerously-quiet world leader, a pet dictator, a storming porn star, a dodgy alt-newsman, a turncoat lawyer, a rogue FBI boss, a side-switching ambassador, a clueless educationist, a teen-stalking ex-mayor, fact-changing press handlers, and finally season generously with sprinkles of plainclothes members of the Klan emerging from the woodwork, you can start to see it all go downhill pretty quick.
Bizarre happenings like this are unthinkable anywhere except in the US of A which has always promised to entertain us every second of your day, especially while you are sleeping. Yes, you can’t make up this kind of stuff. For writers, inspiration and muses do come in different forms, and this time, orange.
Many strange things happened afterwards, but I won’t go
there today. I would need to write a book for that, not an article. Let’s take a
closer look at the more recent debacle of the election results being fiercely
contested on the basis of Trumped-up charges of falsified elections. At the end of it all,
POTUS realized that he has something un-flushable. From "Not being in it to lose",
he rapidly turned into a very noisy sore loser. From being zealously win-eager, all his grapes were so sour that everything quickly turned into vinegar. Trump
had campaigned “VOTUS, VOTUS” but people said “NOTUS, NOTUS”. Then, when he went to
SCOTUS, they decided not play DOTUS, instead leaving him quite QUIXOTUS. So,
off he went, back to FLOTUS, the only one who tolerates his BLOTUS EGOTUS, to scheme a new PLOTUS. Will they finally get his GOATUS? It remains to be seen with the season finale just a few days away.
Sometimes, I do wonder who really tried to rig the election. Only a Master of the Con would be able to understand what fraud is and how it can be orchestrated. The accusations were highly entertaining to a world that has never seen this before. It seems we had fake voters, dead voters, amnesiac voters, and god knows what other abominations tumbling out of the woodwork, quite like the fabled resurrection on judgement day. But let me tell you a thing about the Dead, if we were to let them vote, they would have probably voted for Trump. Perhaps they did. Maybe the Donald knew something more about the “rigged” elections that he called out three months before voting even began, because in all likelihood he himself was rigging it to get to his record number of votes, which by the way, his opponent still beat by a large margin. So, hey, who really rigged the election? We may never know.
It does look like finally Hollywood killed Trollywood, as the Trump White House should be known, for the record of posterity. When key states beat the Donald, allegedly “at his own game” and when the Collegiate finally validated the score-card, history was indeed created, for a while.
However, let us be kind. To be the “Most Memorable First Term President” in the history of the world is not a poor title by any standards, especially when he is in the company of the punk band called Mugabe, Fat Kim and the Dislikables.
This presidential couple, Melania & Megalomania, The Beauty & the Orange-utan are definitely going to be missed. Sorely missed? Fondly missed? All this depends on how the Biharis will do, who are slated to take over soon. Well, that's what Biden-Haris are known as… only Indians will get this joke, or those who are aware of Indian ethnicity, because, hey, this time there is Indian DNA in-da-House, and we own that joke.
Sunday, May 31, 2020
Anatomy Of A Lockdown
We today are in the midst of World War 3. Instead of a war between countries, we are at war with a virus in a bizarre sci-fi plot where humanity is fighting a near-alien non-living species. And to top it off, this situation is rapidly evolving into an economic war between countries that is replete with geo-political strategy and tactics on a daily basis.
What we know so far about this pandemic is very little, it's essentially sketchy information pieced together here and there with facts and fiction. And, the scary part is that it has never been more important to know what we have to do, to stay alive and survive as an individual and as a species.
No nation or government in the beginning of a crisis knows exactly how an unknown virus pandemic will play out in their nation. It has surprisingly shown a varied range of effects on different countries, which means there seem to be several factors at play here. Some of these are measurable factors, such as ethnicity, weather cycles, vaccination policies, historical exposure to pathogens, immunity building practices of people and even their hygiene habits. Many others factors, unknown or undiscovered for now, will be revealed in the days to come as more research is made available to the public.
This single factor of scale, if understood well by people, will explain in a logical way why everyone needs to wear masks, wash hands and keep social distance. The lockdown is the only real way to trigger a slow-down of community transmission and minimize it’s reach to the vulnerable people in society.
Monday, May 18, 2020
How to Earn Your Salary When Working From Home
It’s very important for family members to understand that if their spouse is expected to continue earning a salary, they cannot be given unrelated tasks within an expected “Work”ing hours of the day. Its okay to have the same division of labor between family members as when they were still going to office, but now it comes with some flexibility that you may not be accustomed to.
Wednesday, May 13, 2020
2020: The Year That Changed The World: 01
In that normal world, the very essence of an increasingly globalized world had made way for inexpensive travel by humans from all walks of life, not just for work, holiday and study but also for no real reason at all. It was cheap, it was fast and it was a compelling part of the image of a modern lifestyle. These travel corridors soon became the choice of travel for the contagion .
People in initial euphoria of being early vaccinators did not realize that they would have to take a progressive series of vaccines that kept them immunized, and not very effectively at that. Being one-step ahead was all we could do.
Travel
It was almost as though the entire aviation industry unfolded all over again, in front of our eyes. Airports had to make many changes in flight procedures. It was no longer feasible to take medical certificates or vaccination records from hospitals; not only because of high incidence of fraudulently obtained documents, but also that a passenger could easily be infected after getting a genuine certificate, maybe from the hospital that they got tested or even enroute to the airport. It became critical to ensure that passengers were clear of infection as they entered the airport or boarded a plane.
This is why nowadays we first go through a health screening area before checking in our bags and get our boarding passes, following which we go to immigration, security and boarding area. At the Health Screening Zone, we now have instant test kits that give a result in few seconds, and it’s not just for Covid-19 but also other infectious diseases that have emerged in the last 4 years. Doesn't it feel strange that just 5 years ago there used to be Online Check-in from the comfort of your home/hotel room?
Flight seating had to change, the economy section no longer worked. All seating had to be converted to seat passengers 2 meters away from each other with a divider much like in first class, and this made flight costs extremely expensive. Wearing a mask became mandatory, and many new devices were invented that covered both eyes and mouth and allowed one to breathe normally. Yes it is almost like we live in space and it now feels normal to walk around like this.
For land transportation, trains and buses imitated the high health security protocols of airlines. All in all, ticket prices jumped astronomically for the first 3 years as companies had to survive financially, and it has only recently started to come down as the industry found new ways of cost efficiency.
Cars were and continue to be the only easy and affordable modes of transportation as the new models were hermetically sealed with air filters and pumps, a new fitment much like air-conditioners were in the 70’s. One could now go from end to end with safety and convenience and this has now became the preferred mode of travel as people lost the desire to go to distant places that were far from the safety of their homes. A car has become an essential safety device for a family and the demand for purchasing of personal cars came back, dealing a huge blow to the ride hailing industry that had become dominated by new unicorns.
Personal transportation solutions like bicycles and e-scooters have become huge industries as people reduced their circle of travel to within their own neighborhoods. Work From Anywhere practices made it practical for a reasonably large part of the population to not have to commute to a main office but instead go to the nearest work hub and work from there. Yes you guessed right, Work From Home did not work out as expected as people realized they became burdened with house work and could not draw the line as to what productivity was needed to justify earning a full salary. Besides, everybody needed a break from being around their family members all the time and looked for ways to get out safely in order to protect their sanity.
Humankind, thanks to video and communications technology, has finally realized that the world could still remain a big place by sitting at home and not having to venture far from their safety zone.
Thursday, April 30, 2020
As Real As You Can Get with Video Calls
Sitting face to face across a table or being in the same room has long been considered essential. It gives us a chance to communicate clearly, read each other’s body language, and be able to judge the emotional quality of our responses to each other. In real meetings we are constantly assessing the level of engagement we have managed to create and we get instant feedback on the effectiveness of our ongoing interaction.
It becomes important to know if the person is paying attention to your discussion, or are they distracted, playing on the phone chat, checking their messages or even dozing off. Do they look well today, are they happy, sad or angry, all these have an effect on the way the meeting is conducted. Even looks and appearances, or the lack of it matter. All this can mean the very difference between success and failure in the achieving the objectives of a business meeting.
Nowadays, Video calls are a part of our daily work and are not being made by choice. We are doing it because it’s not feasible to meet face to face due to the current restrictions of containing a pandemic. We are therefore trying hard to replicate the effectiveness of face to face meetings that we are so used to in the past.
A video call, when done correctly, could be as close as possible to a real meeting. Therefore, it becomes so much more important that we use the camera function. We are given tools to switch on and off our video camera and microphone, set an appropriate profile photo, share our screen, send data files and such kinds of interaction tools, all designed by the best minds in the industry to give the closest interaction experience of a real meeting. Only serving coffee and snacks is missing. And of course, shaking hands and high fives.
I have noticed in video calls nowadays, many people choose to switch off their video camera. Some don’t even bother to put a profile photo or put a name to their profile. Now, there may be valid reasons to do so, such as being in a room full of family members, or not having sufficient internet bandwidth or perhaps your device has a malfunction. But its mostly lack of preparation or seriousness to get the best out of the meeting. It’s quite expected to switch off an image of you in a webinar where you are only listening and not talking, but if you are an active participant in a discussion, it’s important to understand the importance of skills required in real meetings.
Why do we think it is quite alright to not stay visibly engaged with our superior, peers or subordinates, let alone our clients and partners. How come we start to believe that a voice interaction is going to be acceptable? In a world of life-changing technology, why do we willingly regress back to the voice call technology of 30 years ago?
These are the questions we must ask ourselves as we get ready to adapt to a new normal, because, let’s face it, “things are not going back to the good old days when all of this is over.”
We need to get used to the reality that digital tools can and will give us a near-real experience which allows us to instantly assess the effectiveness of our digital interactions as we conduct business meetings. Let’s embrace technology and become players, not spectators.
Otherwise, the solution is simple, I would go ahead and do what I would do in real life meetings, ignore the people who are not paying attention, or surprise them with questions and let them know that it is clearly not OK to show a lack of decorum in the digital world, which otherwise, one would care deeply about in the real world.
- Sachin V Gopalan
Futurist Thinker & Social Impact Champion